"avid perseverance in gathering and cataloging information on a topic of interest"

The person usually has a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people.

The person with Aspergers syndrome may perceive errors that are not apparent to others, giving considerable attention to detail, rather than noticing the “big picture”.

The person is usually renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice.

 free of sexist, “age-ist”, or culturalist biases; ability to regard others at “face value”
 

seeking an audience or friends capable of: enthusiasm for unique interests and topics;

consideration of details; spending time discussing a topic that may not be of primary interest

interested primarily in significant contributions to conversation; preferring to avoid ‘ritualistic small talk’ or socially trivial statements and superficial conversation.

seeking sincere, positive, genuine friends with a sense of humour

a determination to seek the truth

conversation free of hidden meaning or agenda

advanced vocabulary and interest in words

fascination with word-based humour, such as puns

strong preference for detail over gestalt

exceptional memory and/or recall of details often forgotten or disregarded by others, for example: names, dates, schedules, routines

avid perseverance in gathering and cataloging information on a topic of interest

persistence of thought

strength in individual sports and games, particularly those involving endurance or visual accuracy, including rowing, swimming, bowling, chess

My AS traits, explained.

I really thought I was (and am) just unique, ya know? 

‘Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality’
Sensory issues? I'll have to figure out what that's SUPPOSED TO mean, I guess. I know what it basically means, but ...?  I dress comfortably. What's the big deal with me not liking clothing that I have to put so much work into? Everyone does this! (Right?)

‘Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be ‘wash and wear’ 
That's been since I was little. My dad did my sister's and my hair, sort of. My hair has and probably always will be short to medium length with the part in the middle. The main reason I have to try, at all, is because my hair gets poofy and frizzy if I don't do something to prevent it. I feel like I need to stop with the pigtails. I'm 28 years old. But my hair looks halfway decent in pigtails!

‘Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance’
Who, me? I looked up the exact definition of "eccentric": Unconventional and slightly strange.
I know I'm weird. I've always been weird. I'm used to being weird. I've accepted it.

‘Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes’
When I was 18, I looked 15. When I was 21, I looked 17. I'm 28 now and people say I look anywhere from 19 to 24. A few people have actually guessed correctly, though! I know I'm immature for my age. Sometimes I feel 15. Sometimes I feel 18. Sometimes I feel 25. I don't think I've ever felt my age.

‘Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts’ 
I think I'm going to need some help, here. Am I expressive in face and gestures? I don't know.

‘May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half male/half female’
I don't really like to admit this, but yes. I know I'm female, but sometimes I feel like I could have been born a male and still been okay. I would've just been a little bit effeminate. That's all.

‘May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon –like, especially before diagnosis’
Unless I just plain don't like the people I'm around, I blend in. I become like the people I'm near. I can usually get along with an assortment of people. Except the ones I can't stand (which are the people who play mind games and/or are constantly dishonest)! When I'm alone, I focus on whatever thing I'm currently obsessing about.

‘Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children’s, can have favorites which are a refuge’
I like to read non-fiction. Biographies, educational books, etc.

‘Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality’
Oh, is that why I'm so rules-conscious?? ...I'm quite disorganized a lot of time, but then I go into a cleaning frenzy sometimes: which I call my "cleaning moods".

‘Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment’
Maybe that's why I up and quit Wal-Mart. They are SO disorganized and the managers never (hardly ever) communicate with each other. Everything's "willy-nilly". I'm very much a home-body, unless you know of an Aspie support group! I like things and places to be predictable.

‘May have a savant skill or strong talent’
Let's see... I can type fast and efficiently. I've been complimented on the way I use words. I can draw cartoons (pretty darn well) if I have the original right beside me: no tracing here! I'm good at organizing things, but keeping my own belongings organized is another story.

‘May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers may gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology’
I've always been decent with basic troubleshooting of computers. When I knew how, I was really good at doing that whole hexadecimal thing... along with binary, but don't ask me now! I forgot!
I guess I'm a more verbal thinker. I love to write. I love, love, love words. I love learning things about psychology: especially abnormal behavior... like mine!

‘May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well’
I don't really remember learning to read. My dad had my sister do "Hooked on Phonics", but I needed more help in the (basic) math department! Honestly, stop teaching your children phonetics! You're screwing your kids up! ...with my other skills, it's been more like "practice makes perfect," ya know? Like typing, drawing, knitting (I just learned, though), etc.

‘Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly’ 
Ha! Like computer networking/repair? Like my Administrative Assistant studies? Hopefully not like paralegal studies or etymology studies! Please, God, no. I need to do something that I love!

‘Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting’
Finding employment hasn't been horribly difficult, though I really have to push myself to fill out and hand in job applications. And then the anxiety about the interview. And then the anxiety about orientation and the first day of work. And then having to make small talk with customers! Oh, my!
I've quit I-don't-know-how-many jobs. I'm not even going to try to count.

‘Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues’
I thought this was just me, or something. When someone's upset and they're venting to me in a quick voice, I find myself lost. I get so lost, to the point of giving up and then I start daydreaming, only partially listening. I'll catch a few words and then make a guess on what their point was.

‘Will not do well with verbal instruction – needs to write down or draw diagram’
Are you serious? This is apart of Asperger's Syndrome?? I thought I was just being thorough! I like things written down, so I can go back to list and figure out what else needs to be done. Good luck on me getting anything done, just 'cause you TOLD me what to do. Write it down, please!

‘Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive’
I don't think there'll be anyone denying these, about me! 
I'm just used to it. I know that when I'm 30, I'll act like I'm in my early 20s, more than likely. And please try to be aware that I take what you say to me to heart. I'm very sensitive and I take your words literally. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

‘More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS’
I have a handful (or less) of people who I'll pour every thought, feeling, and worry onto. Even completely meaningless thoughts. I need to know that you're going to be around for a little while, before I decide to tell you everything that pops into my head. I've learned to hold my tongue (thoughts, feelings, blah blah) around newer, seemingly-less trustworthy people.

‘Strong sensory issues – sounds, sights, smells, touch, and prone to overload (less likely to have taste/food texture issues as males)’
Like when children (besides my own) scream because they're throwing a tantrum or they're just really excited? I have to close my eyes and hope they stop. I didn't realize this until recently, though. I've not been around a lot of children (except when I was a child), until now. When my daughter screamed out of happiness, it did bother me - but I love her and I maintained my composure and waited for her to stop. I never wanted her happiness to be suppressed - especially just because I preferred that she not do her happy scream. (She was later adopted. My personal decision in what is right and best for her.)

‘Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload’
No doubt.

‘Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood, this can incite anger and rage’ 
I thought this was just me, ya know? I know it's part of who I am and all... but it's apart of Asperger's?? Okay... 
Part of the reason for this blog post is because I do hate being misunderstood. I want to be understood! And I watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit a lot, to help soothe myself. Justice is usually done, by the end of the episode - which doesn't usually happen in real life, so that's probably why I need that show, sometimes.

‘Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad’
Definitely. When I'm truly upset and I fall apart, I'm not likely to talk for a little while. I need some alone time. I need to recharge. 

‘Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests’
Very. Besides that this happens a lot, at my last therapy appointment, my therapist let me have some time to talk about some of my interests. One, in particular, that I spoke about with her was reformed Christianity and the fact that today's Christianity is utterly whacked. My therapist said "I saw your face change. You look like you become another person, when you get passionate about something."

‘Will not have many girlfriends and will not do ‘girly’ things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to ‘hang out'’
I really do not like to do girly stuff. If I go shopping with a girl friend, I want it to be over ASAP. If I were to go to a restaurant with a bunch of females, I'd want to either start a heavy, detailed conversation about something I love (while eating chicken quesadillas with ranch dressing) or... try to sit on one of the very end part of the table(s). ...or can we just leave now? I am TRYING to change this. I've been intentional in my pursuit of certain female friendships. Especially females that aren't as prone to competition, mind games, and lying.

‘Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once in adulthood is reached’
Let's see: Amanda, Kylee, Cassandra, Carolyn, Amber, Lacey, ... but once I hit high school, I really didn't have a close friend. I've had a few friends since then, but the ones that I let especially close, I just couldn't get the friendship to work. I love talking to certain people. I even love a few of them. I would love to have a close friend, but I don't feel that I have one. (This is not meant to hurt my friends' feelings. You're my friends! ...but I don't feel especially, especially close to any of you.)

‘May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone’ 
If I met someone any time soon, he would have to be freakishly amazing for me to want him. Like 5 stars. Fireworks, big time. Really, just leave me alone. Thank you.



--- borrowed list from: http://www.willowhope.com/pages/aspergers-traits-in-girls

---and thank you to https://www.facebook.com/AspergerSyndromeAwareness for making me feel a lot less alone on facebook!